Louis Vuitton


I saw this ad on the back of a broadsheet newspaper several years ago, a Sunday paper I think. It was huge- the entire back page in fact. I couldn’t do much but stare at it for a few minutes, mouth agape.┬áIt’s Keith Richards from The Rolling Stones, in an ad for Louis Vuitton. ‘Some journeys cannot be put into words’ the tagline reads. You’d laugh to hear that said out loud, but in the context of the ad it’s convincing on some level. They’re flashing such intimidating credentials you’re in no position to argue. The ad is transparently an effort to lord it up over the viewer, and not much besides. Pretty joyless affair. Ok ok, Louis Vuitton, you win, I surrender. Pricks.


That Awkward Moment

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I couldn’t be less keen to see a film than this. The way Michael B Jordan is sucking that spoon, like a toddler, is revolting. Imogen Poots looks like a real cunt, like she’d have zero compassion for anyone. The phrase ‘eating your feelings’ is inane. I keep expecting an epiphany moment with it- that it’s a slow burner and at some point I’ll get it. But no. I wonder who first uttered it? Imogen Poots probably. They’re both doing a pantomime of a simple emotion. It’s like flash cards for language learning. It’s literally retarded. Godawful marketing just perhaps. I should watch the film.

UPDATE: It dawned on me that it being like language learning flashcards is the intention. Is that obvious to people? I didn’t see it. I just saw the smug assertion that the images have nailed a couple of universal modern-day moments. Even if the moments in question were interesting and the actors were likable, you’d still say fuck off. That’s true whether they’re using ironic language card styling or not, It’s barely ironic anyway. So I can rest easy again.