An Odd Trio

In response to the daily post’s writing prompt An Odd Trio

Today, you can write about whatever you what — but your post must include, in whatever role you see fit, a cat, a bowl of soup, and a beach towel.

I’ve considered the possibility of getting a cat. I’ve come to realise that I wouldn’t like to live with a dog. All a dog really wants to do, in its heart of hearts, is put on a gilet and go rowing. But I just want to slink around the house mostly, so it wouldn’t work. I’d spook the creature out. I’d feel like an abuser. A cat would be much better suited. Me and the cat, being wee resentful dicks together. Soup I’m not a fan of at all. It’s actually surprising how awful it is in every regard. There are so many reasons to dislike it: It’s very often the consistency of diarrhea, I scald my mouth every time I have it, this old man I know dribbles it down his chin onto his big gut and doesn’t notice, I’ve sickened myself once or twice on the gloopy tinned tomato version, the metal spoon feels unfriendly in my mouth when there’s only liquid soup on it, the grim, depressed-person spectacle of pressing down on the surface of the soup and watching it flood the spoon, when you get a bit of bread like sodden tissue paper on a spoonful, the fact that it’s associated with hospitals and old people’s homes. It’s just a nightmare foodstuff! It’s profoundly terrible. As far as beach towels go, I own one which I bought in Malta in 2007 when I went on a holiday there with my friends. It’s black with a depiction of a big yellow bus and the words ‘Malta Bus’. They had these rickety old ex-American school buses running around the dusty roads there, with the interiors covered in rosary beads and other Catholic jumble. I’ve had a good long run with that towel, very fond of it.

Re: Paris attacks- Fucking psychotic fascists. I’m done listening seriously to talk of ‘faith’, of any kind. There’s nothing to understand. Richard Dawkins’ twitter feed has been the best thing to be looking at in the past few days, for me.



22 thoughts on “An Odd Trio

  1. Well this had me chuckling to no end. So I probably wouldn’t find you on a beach, sunbathing with your big yellow bus towel while slurping up soup AND tossing a frisbee out for your dog. Instead you’d be slinking around the house with your towel, cursing at the mere IDEA of soup and the cat hiding in some dark corner with narrowed eyes, also pondering over the disgusting nature of soup (but how lovely some chunky canned tuna might be).

      • You can have the tuna! I despise seafood, probably even more than you despise soup. Wolfgang the cat is pleased that you think he looks interesting. He spends a lot of time in front of the mirror perfecting his look.

  2. “…the metal spoon feels unfriendly in my mouth when there’s only liquid soup on it…”

    “Me and the cat, being wee resentful dicks together.”

    “They had really old-school rickety buses running around the dusty roads there, with the interiors dripping in rosary beads and other Catholic jumble.”

    You really are a genius writer. This is funny and wise and charming and perceptive AND lyrically written, even the footnote.
    OK — so that was the official comment. Here’s how I really reacted: “Bwahahaha!!!!! Perfect!!”

    Well, except for the part about Paris. No laughing there. Just grim agreement.

  3. I really liked this! I didn’t mind the dog rowing at all. Nice segue to the cat. Made me laugh. And the description of the soup stuff really had me regretting some of my decisions (Beef barley simmering on the stove). The bread as sodden tissue paper was a great detail.

    With you on Paris.

    Thanks for ruining supper.(Back to the soup.)

  4. You’ve got to do soup right. French onion with baguette toast and melted Basque cheese on top. Then the cat gets on the table, at least my cat does, because he has a psychotic relentless craving for cheese. Then you have to go get a towel because he’s tipped the soup.

    Cats are perfect critters for people who just prefer to slink around the house.

  5. Funny. I was looking at soup recipes just before I started catching up on my blog reads. Now to make the soup…or not! Am with you on the getting a cat. Would it go on a run with me sometime though? Because that is my big dream-to take a cat out for a run.

  6. Just now reading this. A bit late, as always. You should definitely get a cat if you haven’t already. Of course, I’m a total cat lady (just got my third!) so you probably shouldn’t listen to me. Also, I love soup, so there you go.

    • Hey. Jeez glad you find it such essential reading! But nevermind.. I did read the latest camino post- great stuff as ever. Just something is up with my wordpress I have to ‘sign in’ or something to like/comment on your site. So been liking silently.

      • Lol! You’re right, I’m terrible at keeping up with blogs. Still haven’t found the magical formula to keep me reminding myself of what to read and when. You know, you’re not the first to note that my comments section asks for an extra level of validation. I’ll check it out. Maybe it’s an easy fix.
        Have a good day; catch you on the flip side.

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