Unprovoked Aggression

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Wicked Witch.”

Write about evil: how you understand it (or don’t), what you think it means, or a way it’s manifested, either in the world at large or in your life.

Ridicule and bullying are bad ones. Being on the end of it makes me murderously angry, genuinely. Not long after I moved into the place I’m in, the gay couple who live on the same floor as me decided to start making funny noises from behind their door every time I arrived back and was trying to get into my flat. The first time it was ‘no stop…stop hurting me’ as if someone was being abused. All very funny. It was just the once though, so I wasn’t bothered. But then again another night- mewling like cats this time. I had met and spoken to the two of them once before and the big tall one had made it apparent that he wasn’t impressed with me. So the second night of noises I was a little shaken. I shut my door and just stood in my living room with my head spinning. They knew I was here alone and that that kind of thing was going to make me uneasy. They knew all the ramifications of what they were doing. The anger that rose up in me at that, the injustice of it, making my life difficult for no fucking reason, drove me immediately out into the corridor to confront them. I could hear that they were leaving to go somewhere. To be fair, they are a pair of rather feminine, fitness model-type gay guys, so it could have been worse. The tall one tried to play the hard man with me out in the corridor, coming and squaring up to me- he had obviously expected me to be intimidated, the bastard. But he was rubbish at it. And it’s not difficult to intimidate me. So the situation was resolved easily. I just told them with conviction to fuck off, and they did.

I do want to say that I can’t be angry about this kind of thing because I’m as much of a dick as anyone. To be humble and balanced about it. But I’ve wracked my brain and no, I definitely wouldn’t victimise someone in a premeditated way, for sport. As a grown adult I wouldn’t dream of it. The people who do that are another species. Or just daft. It is a fact of life though, it has always gone on and always will. So seething with rage at those people as I’ve sometimes done is shooting myself in the foot. Even if I took them on and won they’ll respawn in another form, to the end of time. It’s necessary to stand your ground on occasion obviously, but with smaller scale outrages, when they happen, the true enemy is the behaviour, and nevermind the person. And I think the only way to direct the rage against the behaviour is to keep as much distance between it and my soul as possible- don’t let it anywhere near me to infect me- by being the living embodiment of courteousness. That’s what I’m thinking now, anyway. Easier said than done though clearly.

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36 thoughts on “Unprovoked Aggression

  1. C. S. Lewis — whose insight into human nature was remarkably unmarred by his dogmatic religion — took pains to show up the *stupidity* of evil in his adult fiction (which isn’t read nearly enough). At one point a character who’s not just intelligent and educated but clever enough to build a space ship calls into himself what we’re supposed to understand as Satan or the Great Enemy, and so inhabited he can talk the little birdies out of the trees if he wants, but left unwatched he just tortures frogs and diverts himself with sickeningly infantile sadism and mockery. Your gits of neighbors strike me as incarnating that same vibe, wherever it actually derives from in the human spirit. “Avoid as much as possible,” does seem like the best tactic, closely followed by what one of my many ex’es used to sum up as “You show your class and let them show their ass.” It does make you feel pretty helpless sometimes — when people are in that headspace any decency in them seems offline.

  2. Wow. Just wow. Those guys need a life. I’m sorry you have to deal with such dicks. It’s not cool. Stay strong. 💖

      • I’m glad that’s gone and done with for ya. Me, well I’m hanging on. Thanks for checking! 😘

      • What? I’m totally confused here. I’ve said nothing mean whatsoever nor man-hating. I’ve been with my hubby for 14 years, there is nothing about men that I hate. In response to your post, I did not for a second feel that you’re being phoney. This response is totally out of left-field and actually comes across as bullying, which is exactly what you purport to despise so much.

        My comment was nothing but kind and caring. If you cannot be respectful to your readers, I suspect you’ll find you’re going to lose them very quickly.

      • Urgh… not bullying. I unfollowed your whisperings thing, I thought you had noticed and were giving me a wink emoji in acknowledgement of that. I just didnt like some of it s’all. But I like you!

      • Hmm okay. Well it’s fine. To each their own. You didn’t have to be unkind about it. I’m not a man hater in any sense whatsoever. I don’t know if you follow my other blog but I’m dealing with a whole lot of struggles in my life right now, and I would appreciate a little bit of respect in that regard. I’ve always been respectful to you and the remark you made was entirely uncalled for and I felt that it was hurtful. I’m a real person, with real feelings. Please remember that in the future. Thanks.

      • I know you’re having a rough time. Its fucking dreadful. I didn’t mean to be harsh. I only wanted to hear what you thought. Because the stuff on the whisperings site is really powerful. I still have to stop eating everytime I think of the guy with the bloody hair gel. lol. But as you say to each their own.

      • Okay. Thanks for the input. I’m just really in a vulnerable place right now. And I just didn’t get why you responded to what I thought was a kind comment I had left on your post about people being mean or hateful. So it didn’t add up to me at all because it came across as you being that way yourself, which really threw me for a loop and started my day off in a rather crappy way to be frank.

      • Im really sorry for that. Insensitive I admit. I guess I should admit that I also unfollowed you main site because although I laughed out loud a good few times at your posts they were coming too thick and fast and there was a lot of unhappiness. If you think I’m an asshole for that Im sorry. I do wish you well though. Youre great.

      • That’s all right. My life is a bit much for even ME to handle at times. I think I carry a special kind of curse for some reason… I’ve always tried to be a good person who does good for others, but for whatever reason I seem to be paying a penance for some unknown past life fuck up. It’s okay if you don’t want to follow. I’m really considering giving up on posting anything at all about my current struggles and just getting back to the lighthearted, pervy humor my blog started out as before I was diagnosed.
        Don’t give up on me just yet, I still have a few laughs in me still! 😉

      • Take for example my post yesterday, it was lighter and it was about me and my kiddo goofing off at the Pumpkin patch… my life isn’t all gloom and doom. I refuse to let it be. 😉

  3. I’m sorry your neighbors were being so juvenile and annoyingly evil. That’s so good that you confronted them with such success and quite sad that one of them tried to intimidate you while you did so… Cat noises… Maybe you should have barked at them like a rabid dog in response. I’m kidding of course (am I?). 🙂 Love this post…

  4. “I admit that I’ve mocked strangers behind their back when I’ve been drunk, or in pressurised social situations- with the brain shut down- in an attempt to bond with whoever I’m with or, at other times, to take the attention off me”. This is a very perceptive comment to explain why a lot of people do what they do

  5. We’re all good and bad. I don’t doubt that you’re not guilty of truly evil behavior. Lots of people never cross that line and there’s far too much attention paid to those types by the media and stuff. Sorry that your neighbors are such twerps.

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