The Ole’ Gaping Void

Is there anything in a person’s identity that is continuous over the course of a whole life? How can the forty-something woman be said to be the same as the baby in the old photo? An author I was reading suggested a person could have a two-barreled name, with the first part changing according to the stage of life and the second part remaining constant. The age ranges he suggested as constituting different stages of life made me sit up in my seat- 0-5, 5-10, 10-12, 13-17, 17-23, 23-32, 32-46 (him being 40). Sounds right to me. I’m 30 and I really have the feeling of being close to the definitive end of something or other. My young adulthood I suppose, 23 -32. It’s mostly a ‘oh fuck, I’m a bit scared, what’s going to become of me?’. It probably won’t be as bad as all that though.

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19 thoughts on “The Ole’ Gaping Void

    • I don’t know how to take this comment! Is it about me lacking self-awareness? Who knows. But cheers anyway. You look good! This is the youngest you’ll ever be after all.

  1. So hang on,what happens after you’ve hit 42? No more stages? I dunno – I think we all live at different paces, so to speak. Some people are still about 12 when they’re 50, while others are 50 when they’re 12. Some have got 4 kids under their belt when they’re your age, some are still partying it up. But your 20s are supposed to be your sexual prime, as a man – so I guess you can say goodbye to that, right? Your 40s are obviously red ferrari time. Maybe you’re an in-betweener.

    • It was 42 – death. Nah, it was 46 he ended on, because he’s forty and I suppose didn’t want to have to guess at what the stages might be after. Yes I can see he was talking about a particular life pattern- school, uni, young professional etc. Do you not buy those stages at all? Obviously not. I know no one my age with kids tho, but the partying is definitely dying off. My sexual prime eh? Screwed that up too then. I dont believe that tho. For women it’s meant to be 110 or something. ha, im totally gonna have mid-life crisis.

  2. When I stumbled onto Buddhist thought and meditation, the anxieties I had like some you’ve described just disappeared. Not to say that I don’t have to keep working on things–like detachment–but Buddhist ideas sure helped me in ways that nothing else ever did. šŸ™‚

    • I have done a bit of that. I went on a silent retreat but I’m sorry to say I went straight to a bar for beers when it finished. But I do believe I’m getting more mindful in general as I get older- finding I have no other option. Do you meditate every day? Cool blog! Very much like what I’ve just read. Cheers.

      • Haha, I would have done the same. We won’t become enlightened, but at least we learn how to observe our minds and exercise control over the team of horses between our ears. Re meditation, nope, I’m a bad Buddhist these days, I only meditate when I need a top-up. Glad you like my blog, thanks for checking it out. šŸ™‚

      • I talked to you because I came across your site, saw a posting, and felt that I could offer a tiny bit of my perspective. Doing so didn’t make me obligated to follow. Feel free to unfollow my blog if you feel somehow cheated.

      • People want other people to be interested in them though, don’t they? When you don’t follow you’re saying ‘I have no interest in hearing any further from you’. So it’s not the ideal dynamic to have going on when you start a chat with someone. You should probably have just moved along.

      • I’m sorry you feel that way and will take that to heart as I move forward. I’m following now. šŸ™‚ I’m not one of those people who just clicks the Like button and doesn’t bother reading because it’s a game of adding to follow counts. I actually perused a bunch of your posts and think you’re an interesting guy with lots to say.

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