I’ve hit upon a mantra which I think will be here to stay, rather than the kind that gets me excited but then is quickly forgotten. It’s ‘What am I doing right now that’s stupid?’It sounds comical but it’s been proving useful. I’m prone to repetitive thought patterns and ocd-ish behaviour and it’s really helpful with that kind of thing in particular: ‘Oh yeah, this leads nowhere good, why don’t I do something more fun’. Same deal with other hangups and insecurities. So, I can make my life a little more pleasurable using it, which is good, but another part of its power is to do with keeping-up. Being ineffective and making poor choices isn’t cute or lovable at 30, it’s humiliating. Like having a small dick or something. So there’s a grrr feeling I have when I’m on top of things and feeling good, but call on the mantra anyway. It’s a culture of achievement thing. It would be nice if ‘What am I doing right now that’s immoral?’ was as motivating, but it isn’t.


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