Cruisin for a boozin

I bought a bottle of wine the other night. I had been thinking about wine connoisseur-dom. One result of this was that I learnt how to spell connoisseur. It’s a difficult one, in a league with ‘odyssey’.

I also gained a bit of interesting wine knowledge. I found myself on a website explaining what wine language really means. Some of it annoyed me- ‘austere’, ‘elegant’, ‘flamboyant’- that’s giving the taste of wine too much credit surely. But ‘complex’ seemed legitimate- ‘the flavor changes from the moment you taste it to the moment you swallow’. Really?? That sounds amazing. Shiraz is a complex one apparently. I’ve seen Shiraz before so I knew me getting one was achievable. There was a two part Woody Allen documentary on BBC this week. I was without wine for the first half but I decided to get a bottle in time for the second. I got to the off-license by walking through the meadows near my (my parent’s) house.

I’ve been in the meadows quite a bit lately. I squeeze through a hole in a fence opposite the house then walk through a rugby ground, past their club house and down a bank behind the hockey pitch into the meadows. Then a 15 minute walk along the river to come out at this little area of terrace housing where there’s an off-license and where my friend lives. There’s some shame attached to my meadows wandering certainly. I had to walk past 5 older teenagers from across the street playing football on the rugby ground. I hurried past with one hand in the pocket of my tracksuit bottoms, checking the time on my phone in the other hand in what I hoped was a suave enough movement. Yep, grown-ass, jobless man here crawling through holes in fences and taking shortcuts through the meadows. Like all weirdos though, I know I’m not a weirdo.

I got the Shiraz and returned through the meadows, off-license bag in tow. It was hard to drink. There was a hit of sourness when you took a sip so you had to pause and steel yourself before gulping it down. I didn’t notice the flavour changing from the moment I tasted it to the moment I swallowed, despite looking closely for it. I was tired to begin with and after two large glasses with the (enjoyable) documentary I was completely stoned, slumped on the sofa. Match Point started immediately after, at midnight, and I watched that in a twilight zone state which at one point turned into disorientation and worry, but was generally blissful.


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